3 mindful techniques to lift PND

Depression during the perinatal phase is common with between 10 & 30% of women developing post natal depression in the first year, depending on which study is used.

Symptoms can include:

•       Not being able to stop crying

•       feelings of hopelessness

•       persistent low mood

•       feelings of not being able to cope 

•       not being able to enjoy anything

•       excessive anxiety about the baby

•       difficulty in bonding with the baby

•       being unable to concentrate or focus

•       isolating from friends and family

•       sleeplessness

•       extreme tiredness & lack of energy

•       aches and pains

•       feeling generally unwell

•       anxiety

•       loss of appetite 

Parents often feel a heavy sense of self judgement, even self loathing when experiencing depression, which only compounds the condition.

There is often a lot of pressure at this life stage ‘to get it right’ and be ‘the best parent’, have the ‘perfect birth’, ‘breastfeed’, ‘go to mother & baby groups’, ‘sign up for classes’, ‘get a sleep routine established’, 'enjoy mat leave' and ‘bounce back’ (whatever the hell that means!)

When these things are difficult, or traumatic, or don’t happen for whatever reason, some parents can interpret this as a personal failing.

Which of course it isn’t at all.

But it does leave people to then vulnerable to experiencing depression as the harsh punitive self talk about ‘failing’, ‘not being good enough’ can begin to take root in their mind.

Tim Cantopher is a Psychiatrist who wrote the book; Depressive Illness The Curse of the Strong, puts forward an idea that I have found to be true in every woman I have supported with PND.

He suggests that depression occurs when people have a high standard for themselves, when they are conscientious, diligent and caring of others.

When they encounter struggle, stress or adversity they are unable to ask for support because they feel they have to shoulder it all, cope with it all, manage it all.

Here are 3 important therapeutic tools to share with depressed parents:

·     Communicate that it isn’t their ‘fault’ that they are finding this hard. Many of us struggle at this life stage. Judging ourselves for perceived failure just makes a difficult situation even harder to bear. Introducing the mindful concept of shared humanity and shared experience can help.

·      Listen carefully for all the things that are going right. When we are depressed we become blind to any positives and part of the work is to reflect the things that are going right and to celebrate those wins – no matter how small.

·      Ask ‘what would you say to a friend in the same position, who is struggling?’ and then suggest that they begin to affirm these things for themselves out loud, or in their head or in a journal, frequently to offer a counter balance to all the harsh, judgey thinking that has often been running rampant through the mind unchecked.

If you would like to know how to do more to support parents recovery from depression, anxiety and perinatal trauma then take a look at our 2 year course in Perinatal Hypnotherapy.